Movie Making Part One: Amateurs

Making a movie is something a lot of people could do, but only few get to experience. While it is easy for anyone to own a video camera and film things to their liking, piecing together a story and articulating it clearly is a much different kind of 'film.' This being said, the amount of material that makes its way on to the internet, or not, is seemingly infinite, allowing us as viewers to be treated to many levels of quality. The particular individuals who make films professionally are the lucky candidates who were selected from the extensive pool of people who can point and shoot a camera, carry an idea, or unfortunately: have a ludicrous amount of money. There is no way to necessarily tell whether or not those chosen are any better than those who were left behind to create for fun, or the ones that fill the demographic of starving artists and failing film strips; this is just the way the film industry works. Some are compensated and appreciated for the work they do, while the rest are left to nothing. This is the sad truth of any art.

While the entire point of any major production is to make it accessible to the masses, the idea behind film is to send a message to the audience. It is the ability to perceive these messages that bridges the gap between the makers and the watchers. Both those who wish to make, and those who have tried to make, will have to settle with experiencing the works of those who do make. Therefore it comes as no surprise that films play an important part in a vast majority of people's lives. Watching films connect the watcher and the maker, but more importantly, it connects the watcher to other watchers. I find that other than music, the most common ground I have with acquaintances and strangers alike, is film. Knowing nothing about another person, I can share with them a conversation of veiled importance about many aspects of film. I say veiled because while our conversations may lead us to believe that we are in fact intelligent, witty people, ultimately whatever we're talking about is of little or no meaning.

But what I find is that for some, critiquing film is more enjoyable than watching film. These conversations generally do not follow the pattern of veiled importance, but  rather they are of extreme concern and will eventually lead to retelling. The people who are partial to complete critiques are willing and wanting to tell anyone and everyone who will listen to their considerations. While I hate to judge, I find this to be a very...judgmental practice. The entire ritual of purchasing a ticket, renting a movie, or more prevalently: downloading, a ritual that I have come to cherish, is tainted  by the strict agenda of the individual who would prefer to purposefully tear apart whatever they've just seen. My best guess would be that this attitude stems from the bitter, dead hole that should hold a person's heart. There will always be something that could have been more properly executed, better captured, or smoothly articulated than the director chose to do, this is obvious. But for one to believe that all aspects of a certain film to be misdirected, and that their approach would have been better suited, says a lot about a person's personality. Critiquing at this level strips the director of any credence, and ultimately smears their very name...privately and unimportantly, of course.

To not understand is one thing, to adamantly avoid the messages of film is another, to believe you are a master of direction is too much. Coming across someone who is so passionate in their tell-all approach to reviewing/deconstruction will generally lead to a large amount of people feeling the exact same way about one person.

"Yeah...fuck that person."

A Response to "Craigslist Scams"

While I am not unfamiliar with scamming on Craigslist, it doesn't cease to amaze me when I am caught up in the middle of it. After reading "Craigslist Scams" on blog Baseless Doubt (for original article click clack ), I thought I would share my most recent episode in this seemingly laugh-riot activity, in hopes that maybe we will be able to connect the dots and construct a clearer picture on what these individuals strive to accomplish.


I received an email this morning regarding a job posting I had applied to on February 1st, if I remember correctly, something that was labeled "general labour." The post entailed very little on what the job actually was, I recall them asking for credible people who considered themselves better than others. Instinctively, I had to respond:

"Hello,

My name is Sam Hawkins, and I am a twenty year old university student currently enrolled at the University of British Columbia. Despite this, I only attend class three days a week, which only totals to nine hours, thus, I have a fairly flexible schedule. Although i do not know what the job you offer entails, I believe that i am both responsible and trustworthy. I have attached my resume so you can look over my past experiences, and I can obtain a reference on request. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Sam."

As I am an unemployed, under-succeeding individual, who needs money, I apply to a high volume of adds on Craigslist with a full understanding of the success rate of return. Still, I try not to let that get in the way of my professionalism. When I replied, I was fully aware of the chance of not being the correct candidate for the job, or the larger chance that no one would ever be hearing from this phantom of an employer. So when I awoke to the chatter of my phone, informing me of a newly received email from the one, the only: Henry Brown, his response a mere two months after the original message, I was still not totally convinced of his legitimacy as an employer:

"Hello,

Thanks for your response to my ad and i really appreciate. Am sorry for the late response, it is due to the extension of my traveling to the state and i was busy with some office work aswell. Anyway Am Henry Brown, my self and my family are relocating to Canada from United kingdom.I will be coming there for a business summit  and also for some private research work. So i need someone who could help me take care of my  home by doing some home work while am off to work and also help in running some errands because my wife is heavily pregnant. I will be offering you $300 weekly. Your service will be needed for three hours  daily at any suitable time of yours , Mondays through Fridays...

  My financier will be making out a Paycheck to you before my arrival, you will be receiving a check of $3,600 out which you will deducting your pay for the first two weeks and you will be using the remaining to buy foodstuffs and other things needed in the house. You will get the foodstuff on the day of our arrival which is April 15th 2011. Actually all flights from the United Kingdom arrives at nights so you will be getting the foodstuff in the morning and making all other preparations. I will also instruct my estate agent to come and pick you show you the apartment and handover the keys to you so that you can do all other necessary preparations before we arrive. Besides, I will also email you the shopping list.You have to get all this shopping before our arrival so that we wont start running around when we arrive, So my financier would be needing the following Information below to make out the payment."

While not nearly as muddled and nonsensical as the message received from Baseless Doubt's Craigslist scammer Reverend Gary, the consistent grammatical errors pays a certain kind of homage to his original message. And while it does not include fantastic ventures to West Africa, it does mention the familiar UK. The two messages are similar in their ability to confuse and scare the reader. If it were not for a select few expressions that he chooses to use, I might even find this an acceptable email to reply to. His profession, it would seem, consists of both personal research, and attending business summits. Some sort of explorer/mountain climber/business man; sounds pretty incredible. His wife is apparently "heavily pregnant," with child I assume, an odd expression to say the least, as it paints a wonderful image of her current condition. Basically an obese pig of a woman hunched over a toilet eating up slop and what have you...pregnant woman things...heavily pregnant woman things.


Sometime, he goes back on what he has just stated, and instead of choosing to delete his past comments, he allows me to take a look at his stream of consciousness, about the "foodstuffs" mainly. That word, foodstuffs...it's not a normal person word. Not to mention his refusal at using proper contractions or concepts for that matter. It would seem that he has trouble articulating the perception of himself, his use of "Am" is somewhat of a replacement, I guess. 


Anyways, like Baseless Doubt author Daniel MacNeill, I fail to see the reason in executing these thoughtless "scams." I mean, they're not even really scams, they're strange role plays where the person in charge has no real end game but to satisfy his partialness towards poor sentence structure. Sure, like Dan's, he asked me for a bunch of personal information that if answered could potentially ruin something about my life. I'm not really sure what part of my life that would be, but I'm wise to his tricks nonetheless.   

Don't Fear Change

Stumbling through the contents of my older laptop, I came across something that can't be ignored.

Effective within the next few days, my blog will be renamed; that includes the URL address. 

As early as tonight, www.100metreracewar.blogspot.com will be no more.

For further posts, please visit....www.allthecoolkidsaredead.blogspot.com

Unless of course that URL ends up being taken...i'll then have to do something drastic.

Crazy, even. 

Despicable List

My hate goes out to all you DJ's and mixers who select the music at clubs, dance bars, or any other venue of that nature. When I request a song, not only do I expect you to have it, but I automatically assume that the very idea of that song will override the shitty music you may be playing at that moment. I listen to enough music to know what would be considered widely acceptable to dance, bump, or grind to. You're bafflement to something as mainstream as that other guy from Outkast vexes me to the point of erratic behavior. 

In the end, though, it's not your lackluster library that really gets to me.

I understand if it's only your job and it's your boss who ultimately controls what is played and what isn't. If it's that slobbering cunt that runs the show, casting an iron curtain over 99% of playable music, I feel for you.

I get it if you have a quota to fill in terms of top forty music, whatever that sounds like.

But please, for the love of God, never, ever, ever tell me that you wished you could play that song, maybe even that you love that song, but OH NO, you didn't bring YOUR playlist, YOUR playlist is at home, filled with all the glorious music in the world!

I fucking hate that. 

Your buddy buddy propriety fucks the piss out of me.

Fuck you!

You have been added to the Despicable List.

True Story

EVOLVE

I responded to a Craigslist personal ad. I had never done this before and had never even considered the possibility of doing it. As if there was some sub conscience  part of me convincing me that doing this would be seen as 'uncool' or 'pathetic.' But I thought 'Fuck it;' I didn't have anything to do today. I was lucky enough to find one that didn't make me feel like some greasy alley dweller looking for a quick fuckeroo. A girl, picture provided, cute, seemingly bored and in the same position as me, was merely looking for someone to chat with. I couldn't think of any excuse not to respond.

 

So, I responded. 

In the back of my mind I was probably hoping for this innocent looking girl to reply with something expected to come from a tortured sex maniac, but I guess today wasn't my day. She sent back what anyone would have expected, a harmless message, conversation. I was happy with this. Anonymous dialog is generally more exciting than that with someone you know. While she looked sweet and responded in a well manner, at any moment she could flip the entire conversation on its head and start off on a tangent about how humans and apes having sex leads to a new form of human/ape species. With the number of individuals of this new species increasing dramatically they would soon become a dominant cultural entity, and eventually would be so integrated into society that the present day relationship between humans and apes would be practically sideways! 

Yes, sideways, people.

It is this chance of unexpected twist that draws me into such situations. 

Therefore,

It will be from this moment onwards that I will not be such a gutless prude on the internet!

Take note!

Learning Something New Everyday

Not like it's a big deal or anything, but I changed some colours with Lamp and some of the fonts. Live with it.

Reader Response

Left Handed Document

I haven't always been left handed; when I was young my parents put a pencil in my hand and told me to do it right. Evidently I screwed that up. People are always trying to tell me that there's a difference between people who write with their left and people who write with their right, but there isn't. Being a lefty just makes me more unique than you.

This document has been written entirely with my left hand. 

Here's my attempt at transitioning into a topic with relevance:

What's the deal with the two different sides of the brain? I'm told that every individual uses one side more than the other. Some are left hemisphere, some are right hemisphere, at least this is what I've heard. People propose that the right side of your brain is used for creative output, while the left is for pure logic. Right side used for creativeness and imagination? Left side for logic? Well, using the right side of my brain, apparently, I imagine that this idea is a complete and total farce. This entire theory was created by some fat jabroni who didn't know his left hemisphere from his left cheek. That's the ass cheek.

To be perfectly honest, I follow the archaic theory that the brain is sectioned into many parts running vertically along the cerebrum. My inner eye, located just above my brow, stares backward into my brain allowing me to perceive the past.

Get it? 

Yet, evidence suggests that I have yet to use any lobe or hemisphere of my brain. So far it has been running quite smoothly in an inactive state. I make sure it's in perfect running order by applying alcoholic lubricant to it four to five times a week. My brain feels great.

My brain looks like potato shit.

Hemisphere, stupid. 

Planter Earth?

No.

Brain..

Formal Introduction